Mid-September comeback

It's a couple weeks into september, you can smell the hair of school starting everywhere and also university (final year we hope) will be starting in another 2 weeks.

I can't really say I relaxed this summer but at least I've put a few nice things into my bag, and I've gotten more friend with that old folk named Java.

I don't know if I feel annoyed by the fact university is starting or if I am brimming with excitation because I want to get this degree done, but this will not change the fact that the 27th everything should be on the move again, with those 4 courses left, and I'll have to have them done this year (at least I very hope so).

I hope I'll match the shape (of mind) I had in the second semester of last year rather than the first, because yea, aside from AION time's theft (even if after the first month it wasn't that much), I felt really lazy, while in the latter I was eager of getting things done. In the end, in both semesters I passed the same number of exams with the same average score, but it was easier to do it so with the, if you pass me the joke, "Eyes of the tiger".

Sadly (just because it's an annoyance), in October I'll have that little surgery, it's gonna be a tuesday, not sure yet which one.

Oh and, yesterday evening, while I were having one of my relaxing showers, I realized there is a person who really cares about me, and stands me and my 'bursts' when we argue, and thinking of losing you saddens me.

Weird place, I know, but being under the steamy water pouring down, not only washes away my fatigue and stress but also make me ponder on several important things.

Lub j00 ♥

I'll leave here a song's I liked in the past days even though it doesn't reflect exactly my mood

And now back to Java and SQL coding!

Snap'd

I am a few hours into September, and I can definitely say it didn't start well.

Everything has a breaking point, even the most resilient of materials, even the nicest dude.

And I am no nice dude.

I've got a big disclaimer on my back, I've always made it clear to everyone that gets close to me.

I am not patient, and as much phlegmatic I can be, when poked on the wrong note I am not meek. And then I snap.

When that happens, I feel it all on the base of my neck, I feel the whole area getting stiff and those nerves stretching spasmodically as if they want to keep me still, to not move.

I feel my lips getting sore, and tightening on each other as if they want to keep my shut, to not talk.

Inside my brain, a table-tennis match is being played, with an heavy lead ball bouncing on my head's walls.

My rational self, tired by facing reality, realizes that everything in this world is futile, raises a wall around me and falls asleep.

My emotional self, numb by facing reality, realizes that once again, the more affection you give to someone, the more you get vulnerable to sorrow.

My cynical self, awakens to face reality, and realizes that once again, others are not worthy of all that consideration and I should just focus on myself.

Luckily, I don't rely on others.

But it seems that letting others rely on me too much is not a good idea aswell.

September just started, and with this chilled wind is not announcing anything good.

It's better I turn off this pc now, I don't even feel like having the screen's light on my skin.

I'll just be on my balcony and bathe in the gale, maybe it'll snatch some of my ill feelings and let me have a quiet rest.