I will start today's blog post asking you a question: Do you believe in fairy tales?
As much as I feel romantic and enjoy reading them, I am a rational person, and I know that in this hard world you're unlikely to find an "and they lived happily ever after...".
Fairy tales are filled with magic and enchantments that make even the most improbable possible. In our everyday lives we don't have spells or mystical items, but if you are lucky enough, living you might have the chance to discover there is something even more magical than those.
Among the many we'll experience, there is a feeling we call love that can shatter all our beliefs and make us believe that nothing is impossible.
During the last two years I've been involved in a story I'd define deep and important, a story as intense to be lived as hard to be fulfilled. In the past, before all this started, If you had told me about the whole circumstances, I would've been the first one to smile at it and shake my head. But hearing it, and living it are two completely different matters. Even now, looking back to it, I can't give a rational reason to why I decided to pursue it.
Blaise Pascal over 400 years ago said "The Heart has its reasons which Reason doesn't know of".
And the heart in fact didn't want to listen to any objection. Not the distance, not the differences in culture, not the language's barrier, not the misunderstanding, not the many adversities that fate kept throwing at us. Despite all the odds being against it, despite it looking like a losing bet, the heart didn't want to listen to anything or anyone and didn't waver till the end.
Even when the whole world looked like crumbling, the heart kept believing that for every dark night there would've been an even brighter day. That no matter what, it would've been worth it, that no matter what, it would've been okay, that no matter what, living your life together, growing old with her, that was the only important thing. That just like in a fairy tale we would've had our happy ending. Our heart may bring us to belive we live in a fairy tale, but life isn't as sweet, and the end can be as sour as no book will ever tell you.
There have been many moments in which I felt like a fool, but now despite how things are, I don't feel like a stupid, I don't regret having met her, because she's given me something no one else could've. As much as I realize I may still feel, it's better if I don't hope anymore, not because I discarded it all away, but 'cause chasing a fairy tale alone will just end hurting more and more, so I keep living my days trying not to think about it. I'm okay, but there are days in which you just can't avoid thinking to someone that meant so much for you, because despite how much pain you've been through, despite how much you try to cast that idea away, when you've truly loved someone, that person will stay inside a part of your heart forever.
Why am I saying all this today... I had a dream tonight, a warm dream. I dreamt of you.
When I woke up, I didn't know if I was feeling happy or sad.
What I know is that even apart, it's not easy to forget, that it's not enough to say so, that if you take a book with all our story in it, it's not enough to just change its Cover to change what's inside.
And if you believe in fairy tales, there are days in which it's hard to keep that book closed when you feel like ripping off any Cover and write in its pages all the words that want to burst from your heart...not with just your hand, but with hers accompanying yours.
What I know is that even apart, it's not easy to forget, that it's not enough to say so, that if you take a book with all our story in it, it's not enough to just change its Cover to change what's inside.
And if you believe in fairy tales, there are days in which it's hard to keep that book closed when you feel like ripping off any Cover and write in its pages all the words that want to burst from your heart...not with just your hand, but with hers accompanying yours.
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